Inspiration

I was on my way home today when I started to think about how many different creative endeavors I have attempted and not kept up. I almost started on a negative self-talk trip about how it’s because I’m lazy, not talented enough, not disciplined enough etc. but luckily I was able to practice some thought stopping techniques, take a breath and re-frame my thoughts. I then started thinking about how I’m always waiting to be inspired before doing something and how this might have contributed to my lack of follow through. The fact that I was able to successfully able to stop the negative self-talk was delightfully surprising.

There are a lot of factors that have contributed to being able to successfully use coping skills I know I have. One of those factors was that I had recently medicated with Eel River Organics Nectar pen. They’re my favorite cartridge because it’s the only cartridge I’ve found that feels like taking a  dab. This is partly because they are 100% nug run, meaning they do not use trim to make their extracts just buds, and partly because they have a higher CBD content than most THC dominant cartridges I’ve seen.  I was vaping a White Widow which allowed my body to relax and my mind to be calm. White Widow is a very balanced hybrid (for me) that helps with both physical and emotional symptoms. The higher CBD count in the Nectar pen increases the feeling of calm without impairing my judgement. It’s great. I feel so lucky I am in a state where I have access to this means of anxiety management. I have found something that works for me, something that not only allows me to function semi-normally but I’ve found something that truly speaks to my soul. I am eager to share information, learn everything I can and just spread the word to others because that is how we will change the world.

Advertisements

Music, Marijuana and Mirth

I was sitting and listening to Green Day’s “When I Come Around” and was blasted back to high school. I was filled with a sense of nostalgia and happiness, remembering how I listened to Dookie, Nimrod, and Insomniac on repeat, occasionally switching out to Led Zeppelin or the White Stripes. Those albums, full of memories and music were amazing stone cold sober. For me, one of the most beneficial aspects of marijuana is the amplification of feelings. I feel things very deeply in general so one would not think I would welcome an increase in intensity but with the right sativa it’s different. With the right sativa, my brain will attach itself to the positive feelings/memories.

Sativas are known for increasing euphoria,energy and creativity. On the flip side, if one has too much sativa one might experience paranoia and increased anxiety. It’s a trial and error process to figure out which strains work for you. If you’re just starting out, I suggest picking one symptom you want to reduce and picking strains that target that symptom. When I first started I wanted “something to make me laugh” and that’s exactly what I told the budtender at my first dispensary. Luckily, the person guided me in the right direction and thus began my love affair with Blue Dream.

I’ve come a long way since entering my first dispensary. I’ve learned to be more goofy and relaxed when not medicated but it was Blue Dream that showed me what that felt like and gave me a goal to aim for. Friends, board games, music and good food have also helped in furthering this ability.

Women in the Cannabis Industry

Women are making big in roads in the world of cannabis.

I was really happy when I got this email from Bloom Farms.

Women need to be more well represented in traditionally masculine fields. Personally, I feel like marijuana is a gender neutral field (the fact that fields of study are gendered is a topic for another post.). However, because it has been seen as a less than legal industry it can be argued that it is seen as a more male industry,’cause, ya know, it would be unseemly for a woman to engage in illicit activities.

With the turmoil our country is in I feel we need to take this opportunity to support each other as much as possible, in as many ways as possible. We all have different sets of skills and abilities. We all have different audiences who listen to us. We have the power to make a difference and change the world, AS LONG AS WE DON’T STAY SILENT. Talk to people, spread info via social media, march in the streets and spread love.

I rarely consume indica based products. However, the  overwhelming reality of the level of sexism, racism and homophobia in the country has been giving me trouble sleeping. I picked up some Master Blaster sugar wax (Purple Frost Genetics has long been a trusted grower;Bad Fish Extracts  is a new favorite extract maker). I’m so glad I chose this one for a bed-time aid. The extract is a beautiful blonde color (indicating a lower level of plant matter/residual matter), and delicious terpene filled scent are just scratching the surface of the awesomeness of this strain. One dab and there’s an immediate wave of relief that overtakes my body. As I take a deep breath and savor the flavor of the terpenes on my tongue I am reminded that there is still beauty in this world and I’m lucky enough to witness it every day.

Blue Dream

Blue Dream is one of the very first strains I remember trying when I got my mmj card. It was the sweet smell that first caught my attention. I fell in love with the effects. Blue Dream allows my mind to let go. It provides a relaxing body high that feeds into the state of relaxation the mind turns to. For me, Blue Dream is a strain that allows one to be productive (due to lack of fuzzy brain) but does not require it. One would be just as happy cleaning the kitchen as they would be coloring a picture.

I had Blue Dream for the first time in a while today. I’m so glad it still provides the same effects as I remember. It is quite the common strain so I’ll most likely always have easy access to it. This allows me the freedom to explore different strains knowing that I can count on Blue Dream if nothing else.

It’s the End of the World as We Know It

Yes, The title to this post is hyperbolic. This doe not mean that it is an inaccurate statement. This election ignited people’s passions for speaking out. The only bit of solace I can find on this dark day is the hope that this spark will fuel some significant change. Now is not the time to be silent. EVERYONE deserves to be represented, to be safe and to feel loved. The ONLY way we will accomplish is by being  OUT.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: we need to educate, not spread propaganda. We need to exist. Out in the open. As good people. As good people who happen to smoke marijuana. We need to have one less negative portrayal of a group of people. We NEED LESS HATE. More acceptance will occur when barriers are broken and perceptions are changed.
I know some people may be using cannabis to deal with the fear, stress, anger or grief they’re feeling but please, don’t abuse it. If you feel like you have a problem please seek help. You are not weak. You are not broken. You are living.You are trying and deserve a chance (even if you don’t feel like you do).

P.S. CBD is great for reducing anxiety

Balance

I was sitting out on my neighbors porch the other night feeling very proud of myself. I was proud because I was sitting there being social instead of inside watching Firefly for the 10th time. Now, I know there’s nothing wrong with sitting inside and chillin’ with yourself for the evening but I also know myself and if it were up to me that’s all I’d ever do. It’s a struggle for me to choose to be social over being comfortable so that night I won.
One of the things that facilitates my ventures to the outside world is cannabis. I’m lucky enough to live in a place where cannabis use is not as demonized as other places. This allows me the luxury of showing off whatever new/novel/exceptionally tasty cannabis consumption method with people AND socialize at the same time. It’s lovely. It’s also not my only method of socializing. I DON’T always have to be medicating when socializing. I am also a big trivia fan so I am constantly asking people if they know x,y,or z. I’ve found that 95% of the time people respond with some trivia of their own. It’s a fun little ice breaker anyone can do.  Other times I do the typical “Oh your (article of clothing) is so cute! Where’d you get it?” even though I really don’t care about fashion. It is in these moments I am proud of myself because even though most of the population can do these things with ease I don’t. I’m working on it though.

Authenticity

               Follow your passion. Everyone has heard this at one point or another. Living in the Silicon Valley, this seems to be especially true. Here’s the thing: following your passion is a luxury. When you’re more worried about being an outcast because of a marginalized identity following your passion is not high on your list of priorities. Everyone wants to belong. It’s why things like meetup.com work: people want to connect with other people.

              Stoners are one of the most authentic group of people I’ve ever met. I’m not the most social of people so whenever I’m at a social gathering I tend to look for the stoners. They are the group I am most comfortable with because of the welcoming atmosphere. Once the preliminary sharing of tokes is through I get to discover the diverse interests of my fellow people. I wish I could talk to more people about my love of cannabis and be my authentic self in this regard but I can’t. I’m sure that there are other people out there who feel the same.

              One of the consequences of living in the shadows and only getting to revel in the loveliness that is cannabis when around other confirmed stoners is that you miss out on potential connection with other people. I know this is the big draw back in my find-the-stoners-plan at social gatherings. The thing is for people who use cannabis to reduce social anxiety this might be the only way they can strike up a conversation. That is perfectly alright as long as it’s not the ONLY way one can socialize.

Intersectionality and Representation

I recently went to Gaymerx, a gaming convention focused on LGBT issues. When I mentioned I was going two separate friends of mine had the same reaction “it seems so unnecessary.”  Did they say that in those exact words? No. One person wondered why “we need all these labels. We should all just be people.” The other stated that the Bay Area would be a place where something like that would be of such importance as to merit a conference.” Now, it’s true, maybe they meant no harm by their statements but that’s just it: those statements are harmful. They erase an important part of someone’s identity. Yes, we ARE all people but only certain identities have been represented in mainstream American media.

Studies have shown a higher use of marijuana among LGBT folk than their heterosexual counterparts. Unfortunately, there has not been much research into the factors that contribute to this phenomenon. However, we do know that being marginalized increases negative feelings like depression, helplessness, anxiety and anger.We also know marijuana is often used to cope with these negative feelings. All of these are facts we know and yet no one talks about them. When no one talks about things that are supposedly “acceptable”  because “we are all people” it shows we are not truly accepting of things changing the status quo. This is unacceptable. So, I encourage you, as proud marijuana users, to go ahead and talk about it. Be safe, be respectful but be out there to say “I use marijuana and I will not hide in the shadows.”